As long as you look for the solution outside of yourself you are searching in vain. If you want to know why things are the way they are in your life look in the mirror. Or look at how the people around you are reflecting you back. No matter what, blame is pointless - blaming another or blaming yourself - both stupid and without profit. You made the bed you are lying in. If you want things to change then change you. If you want God then accept everything as it is.